Writing 101 Days four and five
She didn’t notice it at first when she opened the front door, trod on it in fact, leaving a muddy footprint on the crisp white envelope. She picked it up and wandered into the kitchen and put it on the work top with her bag and keys. She hadn’t slept for nearly three days, she didn’t think she wanted to sleep.
They’d all said that she was so strong and brave, the nurses and doctors on the critical care unit where she’d spent those days, and nights.
But now it was over. Early that morning they had brought him out of the coma, done their tests and turned off the machines. ” We’re so sorry, Tom has gone” they said.
She’d been very calm when they transferred him to the mortuary and signed the forms for organ donation. She had agreed at once when they suggested it. She knew that he had been on the register. He was like that. Besides, she’d nurtured that body for twenty five years and now it was going to be burned, what a waste!
She saw the envelope again and opened it.
A card, one of those with pink hearts and flowers: To the best mother in the world on Mother’s Day
Cos I love you lots
From Tom xxx
She sat on the floor and howled
Wow – I got chills reading this. We all need to be strong, we are strong, and then need to sit on the floor and howl. Great post!
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Thank you 🙂
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Agreed! Very vivid — too real.
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Thank you:-)
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This could be a good start to a longer story. Now you need a flashback of when she carried her newborn son home from the hospital.
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Good idea, I’ll give some thought. I like your blog, by the way.
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That just made me sob!!
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Thank you:-)
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very good. insanely good. i too am in tears.
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Thank you:-)
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A very moving story … I felt like crying too!
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Thank you:-)
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Wow, indeed. What a full story in so few lines. I’m impressed. I wonder if you need the ! mark after howled. The story is so understated and full all the way through that a simple period would be quietly effective. Howled does it pretty well. Nice nice nice.
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I also like what you’ve written about an audience keeping you from being self-indulgent. Wise words. I feel the same.
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I wanted a place to comment under your piece about being born in East London but couldn’t find a comment tag – maybe missed it. I had the most amazing kidney pie and experience in East London. Was invited home to tea with a man and wife who’d been “born within the sound of the bells.”
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A very sad superb write that brought a lump to my throat~ 🙂
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Thank you.:-)
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Sad and touching story..:(
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I’ll be brief – EXCELLENT! Got right to my heart.
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Thank you:-)
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